Author Topic: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread (Read 598974 times)

Villain · « **Reply #600 on:** November 06, 2008, 07:50:25 AM »

Quote from: JimmyB76 on November 06, 2008, 07:33:17 AM

Though Laura Assures Me That Size Isn't Everything

"Wow! Brazil is big!"

- Dubya, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, November 6, 2005

_{75 Days Left!}

Best one so far.

JimmyB76 · « **Reply #601 on:** November 07, 2008, 07:59:03 AM »

(this isnt exactly "funny" but i wasnt sure if it should be here or the facts thread, so screw it ill post it here lol)

Dubya Tries, And Fails, To Spin Webb

At a private reception held at the White House with newly elected lawmakers shortly after the 2006 election, Dubya asked Jim Webb, a decorated former marine, how his son, a marine serving in Iraq, was doing:

"How's your boy?" Bush asked.

"I'd like to get him out of Iraq, Mr. President," Webb responded.

"That's not what I asked you," Dubya said. "How's your boy?"

Webb replied coldly, "That's between me and my boy, Mr. President."

Predictably, this caused an uproar: Bill O'Reilly called Webb "rude" and George Will called him a "boor".

_{74 Days Left!}

Kirk · « **Reply #602 on:** November 07, 2008, 10:59:08 AM »

From Marriedtothesea.com:

Senator · « **Reply #603 on:** November 07, 2008, 02:40:52 PM »

Senator · « **Reply #604 on:** November 07, 2008, 11:50:08 PM »

Senator · « **Reply #605 on:** November 08, 2008, 02:05:54 AM »

intrepid90 · « **Reply #606 on:** November 08, 2008, 06:54:28 AM »

oh...that was hilarious

Captain_April · « **Reply #607 on:** November 08, 2008, 10:17:00 AM »

Quote from: intrepid90 on November 08, 2008, 06:54:28 AM

oh...that was hilarious

my sentiments exactly.
now to redo all of those with smileys:
Biden: :| Losersayswhat?
Palin : :? What?
Biden: :lol:
Palin : :oops:

Biden: :| If you were a cow, what would you say to the farmer if he told you that you had to make milk or die?
Palin : :? You see, it's metaphors like this that completely misrepresent the beautiful thing that is American ingenuity fostered
by capitalism and encourage Americans to lose hope...
Biden: :lol: You'd say 'moo.'
Palin : :oops:

Biden: :| What is the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?
Palin : :? I'm not really sure that has a place on National Tele...
Biden: :lol: Snowballs.
Palin : :oops:

Senator · « **Reply #608 on:** November 09, 2008, 12:32:06 PM »

Kirk · « **Reply #609 on:** November 09, 2008, 12:58:25 PM »

Captain_April · « **Reply #610 on:** November 09, 2008, 10:31:34 PM »

Quote from: kirk2164 on November 09, 2008, 12:58:25 PM

wow

Really? I thought that was pretty shallow, personally. that guy who made that smiley-translation should be kicked. hard.

fun story, My friend bought a cheap lie detector one time. it never really worked right. I could ask: does the sun rise in the morning and it would shock the answerer if he/she said yes or no.
now that shock wasn't that bad, I was able to completely pay absolutely no attention at all when it went off and shocked me. :arms:

anyway, there was this one kid, who, whenever he tried it, it would, of course, mark him a liar and shock him. whenever he felt the shock, he would shriek like a girl and chuck the detector across the room, thankfully never hitting anyone. every time!
he looked kinda like this: :shock: :deadimage :shock:
but screaming.
now, of course, I could have replaced "like a girl" with "like a rabid monkey," as there's only one difference between a human female and a monkey.
the monkey isn't always mad enough to yell. :hurr
horrible joke, degrading to women. where would we be without them?
I don't know, but I say stuff like that about doctors too. I guess I do that to anyone to whom I owe my life or its continuance.

COUGH!!! *ahem*

I SAID COUGH!!! *AHEM!*

I SAID COUGH, YOU WIMP!!! ***AHEMMMMM!!!!!!***

LOUDER!!! ***AHEM!!!***

now make a groaning sound!
*pervert.* :x

but I love them both at heart. (well, not the doctors). but you get the point. I make jokes about women and doctors. but I love women and respect doctors. If you check the very begining of this post, you'll see that I also make jokes about me. I don't love or respect myself like I do women and doctors. so who is really getting insulted?'

what was I talking about?

Kirk · « **Reply #611 on:** November 09, 2008, 11:20:36 PM »

I was being sarcastic. It poorly translates into interwebs.

Aeries · « **Reply #612 on:** November 10, 2008, 02:50:51 AM »

Quote

where would we be without them?

Gay. Or sex deprived. Or in some cases, both.

Quote

*pervert.* Mad

This is... new? Oh, wait, who're we talking about? :arms: :|

~~

I like cheese. <--laugh at this.

(I'm trying to be funny at nearly 2-a-f*cking-m...)

JimmyB76 · « **Reply #613 on:** November 10, 2008, 07:58:42 AM »

Those Aliens Don't Even Know What Happiness Is

"America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness, and for the unalienalienable right of life."

- Dubya, Washington D.C., Noevember 3, 2003

_{71 Days Left!}

Captain_April · « **Reply #614 on:** November 10, 2008, 09:26:30 PM »

Quote from: Aeries on November 10, 2008, 02:50:51 AM

Quote
where would we be without them?
Gay. Or sex deprived. Or in some cases, both.

what about 'unborn?'

Quote from: Aeries on November 10, 2008, 02:50:51 AM

Quote
*pervert.* Mad

This is... new? Oh, wait, who're we talking about? :arms: :|

The DOCTORS!!! of course, as a citizen of Canada, you have UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE and don't have all the problems with them that we Americans do. money-hoarding drug-dispensing peeping toms...ah well, they saved my life. look what it got me. women. and membership on BCC, but that's irrelevant when I joke about either.

Quote from: Aeries on November 10, 2008, 02:50:51 AM

~~

I like cheese. <--laugh at this.

I did. gratuitously.

Quote from: Aeries on November 10, 2008, 02:50:51 AM

(I'm trying to be funny at nearly 2-a-f*cking-m...)

You've suceeded.

Quote from: JimmyB76 on November 10, 2008, 07:58:42 AM

Those Aliens Don't Even Know What Happiness Is

"America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness, and for the unalienalienable right of life."

- Dubya, Washington D.C., Noevember 3, 2003

_{71 Days Left!}

perhaps hyphenating 'unalienalienable' would have worked better:

Quote

"America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness, and for the unalien-alienable right of life."

but, either way, it points out that he approved the so-called

Quote from: Dubya

Patriot Act

JimmyB76 · « **Reply #615 on:** November 12, 2008, 07:54:41 AM »

"President Bush is vacationing in Crawford, Texas. He will be vacationing for five weeks. That's a long time. I don't think he has an exit strategy for his vacation, either."

- Dave Letterman, August 2005

Captain_April · « **Reply #616 on:** November 12, 2008, 07:52:21 PM »

Joke time:

There's a ship at sea.? it's a British frigate, and the lookout calls down from the crow's nest:

Quote from: Lookout

Captain!? Captain!? There's 2 Pirate ships approaching off the larboard bow!? they request our surrender!!!

and so the Captain says:

Quote from: Captain

Fetch me...my RED SHIRT!!! Ya got that? Set a direct course for the raiders, all hands prepare for battle!

and so the Captain's orders are carried out.? they fetch his shirt, and, after a long and bloody battle, the frigate is the sole survivor of the battle.

that night, the remainder of the crew asks:

Quote from: Crewman

Captain?? may I ask a question?
why did you request your red shirt before we engaged the pirates?

to which the wise Captain responds:

Quote from: Captain

Well, you see, Mr. Sayers, when I bleed it lowers the crew's morale.? when I wear a red shirt, I can't be seen bleeding.

so the crew is awed by their commanding officer's infinite wisdom.

The next day, the Lookout calls down:

Quote from: Lookout

Captain!? Captain!? There's 10 Pirate ships approaching off our aft quarter!? they wish to BOARD us!!!!!!
What do we do???

and so the wise Captain says:

Quote from: Captain

Bring me...
my brown pants!

And it was done.? No man ever saw the Captain's final dooty being carried out...

JimmyB76 · « **Reply #617 on:** November 13, 2008, 07:48:05 AM »

Welcome To The World Of Diplomacy

"Do you have blacks, too?"

- Dubya, to Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso, Washington D.C., November 8, 2001

_{68 Days Left!}

JimmyB76 · « **Reply #618 on:** November 14, 2008, 07:35:21 PM »

It Takes A Dubya To Make Tricky Dick Look Like Stephen Hawking

"Nixon could hold the center in any room on any issue, no matter how fractious the debate, and the combatants would usually walk out the door with conclusions, with a clear direction.
Nixon, for all his faults, had an incredible analytical mind and a grasp of the central issues of his time ... I realized it would be hard to find things we did with Nixon or Ford that would be applicable for this President.
This President was so utterly different from those men."

- Paul O'Neill, The Price Of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O'Neill

Captain_April · « **Reply #619 on:** November 15, 2008, 09:55:30 PM »

<a href="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=f3dJRoaLXtQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=f3dJRoaLXtQ</a>
he just kept talking in one long incrediblyunbrokensentencemovingfromtopictotopicsothatnoonehadachancetointerrupt,itwasreallyquitehypnotic... :lol:

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Author Topic: Funny / Awesome Stuff / Youtube Vids Thread (Read 598974 times)

intrepid90